A tale of a few rail journies

It’s difficult to ignore the presence of long distance trains when you live the life of nomad. I mean in the last 7 years even a person like me have become the revenue contributor to the railways in their overall earning. I mean why the heck I study some 1400-1600 km away from my home as well why my sister lives some 2500km from my native home. Now because of such factors I have travelled more than 16000km in last one year!!!

Well train journeys are never like a bed of roses, I mean sometime you face some tough questions like survival of fittest and survival of quickest to get the tickets. I mean because of some astronomical problem in my janampatri it rarely happen that I got my ticket confirmed and even if I get it somehow it becomes mandatory to share it with someone else. How great is it x-(
So post examinations, it became urgent need of my life to travel to Delhi from Mumbai. Thanks to my father who has booked tickets some 2-3 months in advance ( damn my stars, I got RAC).  but as I have mentioned earlier, my stars once again wanted to play “snake n ladder” with me and look they even cheated with me, they only provided 2 ladders and many snakes. In short I was once again screwed in the factor known as luck.

I mean why the heck Gujjars of Rajasthan chose Mumbai-Delhi train tracks for their dharna. Couldn’t they pick the parallel track but no, they only picked that track and hence I was once again ready with one more outstanding train journey.

Let me first introduce the train which I selected for travelling. I ( or rather say my father) booked my ticket in Gareeb Rath. It was the brainchild of Mr. Lalu Yadav when he proudly said that “hamar desh ka garib log bhi ab aeer kanditionar mai travel kar sakega. Isiliye hum yeh train chalvaye hai”. But as per my research the word Gareeb  associated with this is just like naming a blind person “Nayan-sukh”. How irony!!! I mean it is my 10-11^th journey in this train but I am yet to meet any gareeb in this train. All I find is people carrying luggage in 1:3 ratio ( 1 person carrying 3 bags, it means if a family of 4 is travelling 12 bags will be there) and if you are lucky you will even find a person having a bag with a label of some good flights stick to it. I know India is full up of hypocrite people, me being one of them. ;) no shame at all.

Well coming back to the journey, a day before my father called me and informed me about  the gujjar thing. I was shocked because exactly 2.5 years back I was their victim in the same way. Well this time Government did little good and they divert the path to some different route which only means a delay of some 8-10 hours in journey.

Well 2.5 years back when Gujjars did the same drama , I’d booked the same train but from Delhi to Mumbai at that time along with my buddy Sisaudia ( we have travelled together in our whole engineering course and by god ki kasam we both understand the pain of travelling on waiting ticket). Well at that time the railway did not take chances and cancelled the gareeb rath. It meant we had to travel in some other train and that’s too without confirm ticket ( as always). That was the most horrible journey of our lives because we travelled those 26 hours at the door step ( yeah place near to toilets .yuck)

Remembering about my other train journeys, I have once enjoyed my train journey in Jab-We-Met style. No I didn’t meet any bubbly girl like kareena kapoor but I missed my train at Delhi and forced my driver to drive to next station , which was Faridabad. For train it was only 35 minute journey but for a vehicle like car that’s too in a Delhi traffic condition it was minimum 1 hour journey. Though my driver tried his best and we reached Faridabad in 40 minutes plain but that effort was useless. Hence I ordered him to drive to Mathura which was next stop for train. Now train take almost 2:30 hours from Faridabad to Mathura. And considering Traffic condition and TATA Indigo ( we had this car at that time)’s engine capacity the task was still impossible because it takes almost 4 hours on road (that’s  too when  someone maintains the average of 85-90 KmPH).

I learnt a first lesson of management there, I kept on motivating my driver. Made his life miserable, which resulted he drove on highest speed possible and maintained the average of some 120-125 Kmph. Because of his brilliant efforts we were in the boundary of Mathura within 2:15 hours. It means we still had a chance. But then I asked the direction of station from a person strolling on the road and he guided me to the station. Yes you figured it right, My astronomical stars yet to played a big game with me. Actually that person guided me to Krishna JanamBhumi temple ( most of the people who comes to Mathura visit here, in fact people those who come to Mathura come only to visit Janambhumi temple) which is on opposite direction of the railway station. My driver sensed the wrong direction in 2-3 minutes and he again confirmed from someone else. This time we got the correct direction and reached to station with 2:27 minutes. But still I missed that train :P

Actually whatever time I was calculating, I was considering the travel time from Delhi to that point. Here I forgot that I was already 15 minute delayed when I reached Delhi railway station. Well this time I told my driver that I’d sat in the train ( just to get rid from him) and I immediately booked a ticket for the train in the night.

These are the some of my historical train journeys. But trust me I have even travelled in worst conditions than these. Still I like to travel in the train because i love to meet new people, I love to chat with them.

P.S.  I am still in train which is halting at Bhopal Railway station for the last 1 hour, but because of internet unavailability I will update it later. 

P.P.S. Now I’ve reached home after a whopping journey of 32 hours x-( what a great start to celebrate my vacations.

Anna rascala mind it.

So today is the auspicious day for which this earth was formed, for which this earth was actually created.no surprises left today is the birthday of Rajnikant. I know I am too late to celebrate it but still der aaye durust aaye and in the case of Rajnikant “subah ka bhula agar sham ko ghar laut ta hai to use bhula nahi Chitti- the ROBOT kahte hai”.

Well Post Robot movie i actually got at least 100s of SMS which updated my knowledge that Rajnikant did this or that. Even some SMS updated me about his limits. Not only SMS, even the facebooks updates were maximum related to the Rajnikant. I mean even Rajnikant does not what he is up to. In some SMS he killed some , in some he even forced britishers to quit India.

I mean gimme a break, we have created our own Rajni-man on the similar accounts of super-man, spider-man and other so many men. But seriously I salute the man for his courage and making his own charisma is the world of movies. You can hate his movies, enjoy his movies but can never ignore his movies.  

You may call it his magic that I am instead of studying “Managerial Economics “ paying tribute to him on his birthday. Well it has another reason too. No I am not another Economist in making but in no mood to study now. :( May be I am too staggered after writing those 5 papers as well these rest days in between exams. :( cant we have all the exams continuously. It is too frustrating process to study for 11 subjects. Our situation is kind of similar to those who travel in cruises; they know they are close to destination but still so far from it.

Well once again I hereby want to share some of those SMS related to rajnikant. I know this point is going to be the longest but I have no other options. :P ( I have copied all the jokes from google result)

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost. 

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. 

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's. 

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

blog in the CS exam

I don’t think there could be any better way to study Communication skills subject than writing this blog, especially when you have BLOG and MICROBLOG as one of the topic in the subject. So I thought to give my highly respected and trusted valuable inputs on this subject.

I mean I never thought of having a topic of blog in my curriculum. May be it is just a tribute to my 4 years of blogging unofficial career, which has earned nothing till date than some google hits and unwanted chinese spammers. Lately I checked my previous blogs, and guess what these chinese  people are selling Viagra,some special condoms and many other ahem ahem things on my previous blogs.

Well let they earn what they want to earn. I am least concerned about it now. But seriously I once targeted to earn more than 100-200$ per month with the help of google ad sense and guess what they people smelled conspiracy there and blocked my account as if I was about to do CWG type of ghotala with their mere 100$.

Well coming back to the point of EXAMS, a thing which should be on my priority, which should be my only aim, a thing which should make other things back-seated, a thing which should even take place of my gluttonous diet. :( But as usual nothing happened. In last 2 exams study was the only thing which was on back seat. I mean I have proved that life should have practical things first than conceptual things.

I guess my teacher will not faint after reading my answers. Like in the exam of Operation Management I was totally confused about Dr. Deming’s philosophy. So I wrote my own philosophy in place of his philosophies. Let see if any smaller country like Japan will get benefitted this time or not by my philosophies ( Japan applied Deming’s philosophy and developed like anything).

Even in first exam I repeated same example in 3 different questions. I was not lack of examples but why should I gave my valuable inputs :P. maybe I am too lazy for that. Exams in MBA are not different from Engineering exams but in engineering I actually used to write at least some of the technical thing. But in MBA I am just narrating my own theories. Seriously I am becoming a management guru :)

Now only 9 exams are left for this semester ( should I call  2.5 month session a semester? I mean course started in middle of september and finished in last week of November :( we had to do regular duty of 9 AM to 9 PM) ). All I need today is some luck with some chits, some good hearted invigilators ( who allow pupil to cheat in exam) and lenient marking and KT-less result.

Good night

MAD

i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

exam shexam haaye rabba !!!

Ironically I am listening a song “dukh  bhare din beete re bhaiya” on my laptop though the condition at my end is entirely different. For me it should be “such bhare din beete re bhaiya ab band bajao re”. I mean who the hell enjoy examination time on this earth, obviously apart from some nerd and those who wants to get gold polished medal on their convocation. I thought exams in MBA would be “little” different than those in Engineering but no marks for guessing, I thought it wrong. I mean I am as scared in these exams as I used to be in engineering days.

I remember I used to update my blog regularly at that time , I am doing the same right now. I used to listen sad songs at that time, I am still listening those sad old retro songs. I used to eat a lot ( and used to gain lots of weight), I have stopped measuring my weight. I used to spend time on orkut , I have changed my option but still waste time on another social networking site ( facebook this time).

In short nothing has changed (apart from place, college and degree). It seems like things never change or say I do not change even after getting millions of kicks on my bums. I should have learned a lot from my past experience but still I am polishing those skills. No change at all !!!

Though I am a little clear about future options but still !!! well this scaring thing has at least done something good this time. I updates my profile on all the career related websites. Linkedin, naukri.com to name a few. A funny thing happened at the time of updating linkedin. I accidently send invitation to all of my google contacts. It means I send emails to GRE, TOEFL, University of Texas etc to join me on Linkedin :P I mean I even didn’t recheck twice about invitation and send it to many people.

It also means my father got privileged to join me on at least some social networking site. I mean he is trying to spy me on all the social networking sites like Facebook, orkut etc. He always sends invitation to me on those sites and I like a sweet innocent baby decline it within 2-3 minutes. :P he even once tried to send invitation with a message attached to it “ beta its your papa this side “ but this cruel kaliyugi beta never allowed him to join me :D. well even this time I only gave him only 1 hour time to spy my linkedin profile and after that I brutally removed him from my that connection too.

Well I know I should study at least now. Ok I got your point. But please motivate me to read these motivational theories which are seriously boring like krishi-darshan show of doordarshan. I mean I am even not motivated to read about motivation, leave chi-sqaure and other such tiring theories. God only knows about my fate ( we Indians are so funny we first worship gods and then leave everything on him and then blame him for every failures :D )

Ok its time to say good bye. Fir milenge isi tarah timepass ( oops time-kill ) karte hue .

MAD

Mr. Ashish Dixit