want to read your own biography, read your old mails.

Want to know yourself better? There is a very simple exercise if you want to know yourself better. Just check back your archive e-mails. Earlier in the era of simple letters people used to keep all the record of those letters and used to read it whenever it was possible for them. But the time has changed and people have got other important responsibilities but still I found it is the best effective tool.

It is just like reading your own biography written by you and your pals. You come to know how you had reacted on certain condition, what was your mind setup at some particular time.

Today I was shocked to see that 91% of total space available on gmail was full. So I did vehla-panti wala kaam and thought to delete my earlier mails. That gave me chance to read my self over the last 3-4 years. I am using my ashish21185@gmail.com account since November 2007.

I came to know how I became mad at our final year project presentation at my engineering college. I rejoyed the feeling of my first placement again.  I relived the moments of my last few months of my engineering days.  I came to know how I acted when I got my first offer letter from ICICI bank.

I read my mail to my father on this occasion. It was amazing. As said by Late Steve Jobs “you cannot connect dots by looking forward but you can connect the dots by looking backward”.

Then I read how I made biggest mistake of my life and flunked in 2^nd last exam of my engineering. Though it was always in my memory but through that mail I came to know how each and everyone tried to teach something to me.

Then I read how I wrote “I-Miss-You” mails to my engineering friends, yes life could never be like this without them. Whoever be I am today is not because of my school friends or other friends but because of my engineering friends, who always came up with some solution to life, who always bring smile on my face with their achievements.

I read my feelings when I got joining-letter of ICICI at my home town. Yes I was too happy at that time. At last something good came in my way. Then further mail told me how I became “Ashish Sir” from Ashish.  Some mails covered some “abhdra bhasha” , no need to tell these mails were from my bosses .

Then I came to know how I left ICICI bank and started thinking for CAT examination. That was a tough decision but It was clear from my mails that it was the need of that time.

Some mails also covered brief introduction of devil effects of word Recession, which was there snatching everyone’s peace of mind in that era. How I consoled some of friends at that time.

Then I read how some of my friends like Taresh bhaiya took care of my motivation part and always tried to motivate me either by some youtube video link or by some lengthy mails.

Then came the era of disaster of entrance exams, yes I was in desperate condition to see some good news. And it came in the form of my sister’s engagement. Next coming mails covered how initially I communicated with my Jija and his family. Everything was going in my favour but still failures in entrance exams shocked me.

To prove my self again How I took decision of writing GRE exams without even telling it to my family. How some of my friends (Rahul Gaba , my ex room mate) actually helped me at that time. He was just one call away though that call was ISD one and I was paying heavily for it.  Then other mails showed how I shared my moment of success with everyone when I got decent marks in GRE. Which was followed by mails which showed how I taught some GRE student for Quant section. It sounds funny but I did it in reality.

Next coming mails showed my mood when I cancelled my abroad plan and thought of doing masters from India itself because of some reasons. Remaining mails are of my journey of ADMI till date, which I will cover in some other blog probably after 1-2 years.

But reading previous mails showed me myself better. There were moments of proud, there were moments of sorrow but important thing was how I was dealing with those problems. As rightly said by someone “First step of management starts from you”. Today I am feeling much better and lighter in thoughts. Thanks to Gmail for notifying me space issue.