want to read your own biography, read your old mails.

Want to know yourself better? There is a very simple exercise if you want to know yourself better. Just check back your archive e-mails. Earlier in the era of simple letters people used to keep all the record of those letters and used to read it whenever it was possible for them. But the time has changed and people have got other important responsibilities but still I found it is the best effective tool.

It is just like reading your own biography written by you and your pals. You come to know how you had reacted on certain condition, what was your mind setup at some particular time.

Today I was shocked to see that 91% of total space available on gmail was full. So I did vehla-panti wala kaam and thought to delete my earlier mails. That gave me chance to read my self over the last 3-4 years. I am using my ashish21185@gmail.com account since November 2007.

I came to know how I became mad at our final year project presentation at my engineering college. I rejoyed the feeling of my first placement again.  I relived the moments of my last few months of my engineering days.  I came to know how I acted when I got my first offer letter from ICICI bank.

I read my mail to my father on this occasion. It was amazing. As said by Late Steve Jobs “you cannot connect dots by looking forward but you can connect the dots by looking backward”.

Then I read how I made biggest mistake of my life and flunked in 2^nd last exam of my engineering. Though it was always in my memory but through that mail I came to know how each and everyone tried to teach something to me.

Then I read how I wrote “I-Miss-You” mails to my engineering friends, yes life could never be like this without them. Whoever be I am today is not because of my school friends or other friends but because of my engineering friends, who always came up with some solution to life, who always bring smile on my face with their achievements.

I read my feelings when I got joining-letter of ICICI at my home town. Yes I was too happy at that time. At last something good came in my way. Then further mail told me how I became “Ashish Sir” from Ashish.  Some mails covered some “abhdra bhasha” , no need to tell these mails were from my bosses .

Then I came to know how I left ICICI bank and started thinking for CAT examination. That was a tough decision but It was clear from my mails that it was the need of that time.

Some mails also covered brief introduction of devil effects of word Recession, which was there snatching everyone’s peace of mind in that era. How I consoled some of friends at that time.

Then I read how some of my friends like Taresh bhaiya took care of my motivation part and always tried to motivate me either by some youtube video link or by some lengthy mails.

Then came the era of disaster of entrance exams, yes I was in desperate condition to see some good news. And it came in the form of my sister’s engagement. Next coming mails covered how initially I communicated with my Jija and his family. Everything was going in my favour but still failures in entrance exams shocked me.

To prove my self again How I took decision of writing GRE exams without even telling it to my family. How some of my friends (Rahul Gaba , my ex room mate) actually helped me at that time. He was just one call away though that call was ISD one and I was paying heavily for it.  Then other mails showed how I shared my moment of success with everyone when I got decent marks in GRE. Which was followed by mails which showed how I taught some GRE student for Quant section. It sounds funny but I did it in reality.

Next coming mails showed my mood when I cancelled my abroad plan and thought of doing masters from India itself because of some reasons. Remaining mails are of my journey of ADMI till date, which I will cover in some other blog probably after 1-2 years.

But reading previous mails showed me myself better. There were moments of proud, there were moments of sorrow but important thing was how I was dealing with those problems. As rightly said by someone “First step of management starts from you”. Today I am feeling much better and lighter in thoughts. Thanks to Gmail for notifying me space issue.

On the streets

I love my life travelling to Ghaziabad to Gurgaon. I mean I will seriously miss travelling to 70-75 KM a day for no reason. Yeah reason was there but I rate it as no reason.

Well driving is not an easy task. You don’t know about driving habits of other drivers. Then I thought to give some of my billion dollars time to write on driving habits of various people.

You daily meet lots of people on road, especially in country like India where population is more than 1.2 billion you meet some thousands of people on the road. Every other driver falls in a specific category of drivers. Here are some of the categories:

1)  Cab drivers: These are those people who think they are driving in F1 race. They have some other fellow passengers in their cab typically known as IT/BPO employees. Cab drivers are famous for driving at maximum RPM which even can make F1 race drivers shame. I mean you cannot miss a Tata Indica,Toyota quails running on maximum speed even on single lane road.

Basically these people don’t care about accidents or whatever because they do not have to pay charges infact IT/BPO companies are paying for it or rather say the company which is paying to BPO for services is paying it. So you know its 3^rd party payment and no one care about it actually.

2) College going kids: These people too believe in testing car’s maximum speed. These are young brats who have ATM sitting at home ( yes I am talking about parents). So they too don’t have to worry about money in the pocket and damage on the car.

Generally you can identify those people listening any rock song on full volume (challenging government’s norms of DB scale), beer or any other alcoholic drink in one hand and one stick which continuously leaves smoke in other hand. Wait it means both the hands are occupied. Yes thats the trick which only these people know.

3) Old people: these are executives who run companies but too busy to drive their cars. Generally they hire drivers for it ( Outsourcing is everywhere :P ). Maximum speed allowed for such people are only limited to 50-60 KMPH that’s too in worst conditions.

You can easily highlight such people in cars like Accent, Mercedes, BMW or in other word a car which costs at least 15 Lacs.

4) People owning new cars: These are the people who care about their cars most, even they can for once forget about their wedding anniversary, Birthdays or any other special occasion but never ever can forget about service deadline of the car.

They are the only people ( like executives) who give daily wash to car, polish them every time and do whatever to make their cars new. These people are least dangerous on roads because they themselves don’t want to have a scratch on car.

5) women: Ok world knows that these are the worst drivers in the history of humans. Don’t know what they think when they drive. For instance they care more about lipsticks and facial makeup than concentrating on car.

They hit speed as they hard as they can and on the same time hit break as hard as possible that you can identify with the tyre marks that a woman was driving a car at that place. They talk continuously on mobile, they change song tracks often. And If ever they meet with accident whole world comes to support them and beat other person even if other person has no fault at all. Must say, these are the dangerous drivers on roads.

I’d tried to cover all the possible drivers here. 

At least now you know , you are safe on road or not. 

Kyu mai jaagu

You know something is wrong happening with you, when you wake up at 5 in the morning on the day of SUNDAY!!!. I mean specially after a superb ,tiring, stupid, useless work which you do in office in 6 days a week. How could I justify this punch of cruel Mother Nature?

So it happened like this, I was all alone at my home. Saw many movies and other stuffs on my laptop till 2 in the morning/night ( depends what you call this time, but to maintain International standard let it be 2 am in the morning ). If we evaluate things by the order of time, I must be tiring but hey I just got wake up after 3 hours of my sleep. And since then I am trying hell to sleep back, which includes seeing so many glorified people on highly horrified TV channels like Aastha, Sanskaar and other. I too switched to MTv but that just ruined my chances of hitting bad again.

I know last 1 month is not a bed of roses for my life. I mean I am back to cruel world of corporate. I am doing nothing than hitting Gmail, updating Facebook account and listening those highly glorified words which could be termed as “Gaali-Galoch” of sales team. If I have to rate anything worst happened in my MBA I would seriously be cruel in rating summer internship. I mean what a wastage of 2 month time. In the meanwhile I could have worked on something more important. But no!! For the sake of 100 university marks and little thing which is known as LEARNING, I am doing this.

It’s not like I am not enjoying my work. My team is very supportive, they try to give whatever a summer intern could do ( NO, it’s not updating old excel sheets or shifting chairs from here n there). I mean I am working like a part of a team. But still I think If corporate don’t plan something really good for summer interns they should not hire them.

I know whatever I have written is highly confusing. But alas it is my life. Whatever I think to do , I just do opposite and ruin my chances and come out happily. :P yes another confusing statement!!! I mean I have just become puppet of that thing called God.

Yeah I know it is a part of life and it must goes on. So in this scorching heat of northern India, I can only give one gyan “Chill maar Dhondhu”.

P.S. the title of this blog is dedicated to song which I am listening right now "Kyu mai jaagu" of movie Patiala House.

Lexical Analysis of Dum maro dum song

Brain, My poor brain which was already in the shocked state after all those munnis and shielas was actually expecting Deepika in Kat’s shoe ( Deepika tries to follow kat in many things). Then on one faithful day I got opportunity to listen title track of Dum Maro Dum  movie. And I hereby also declare that this post is not at all about the length of the skirt (???) of Deepika Padukone. I mean is that piece of cloth was fit enough to called as Skirt or mini skirt or micro skirt. I demand a new name for that thing.

Coming back to the song, I initially thought some DJ got highly drunk and mixed classical cult song Dum Maro Dum. But I was as wrong as any love message from that Star News’ Sansani guy. It was properly raped ooops i mean properly written and composed song. Then I read its lyrics to clear my doubts and trust me I am totally thankful to the lyricist for such a meaningful and classical lyric. I mean who is going to cover toilet and skirt and society in a same song. I mean I am highly impressed with the thought.

Now I tried to understand mood of lyricist Jaideep Sahni. I tried to think alike him. I tried to understand his position when he was phrasing that particular line. Let me try it now :

SONG: Hey..kya phir dekh raha hai

Meaning : the person might be trying to look at hot girl but girl was not ready for that Imraan Hashmi look. So she tried to warn him before anything could happen.

Song: Aaj aankhen sek raha hai kal haath sekega

Meaning: Now girl is reminding him about the OFFICAL one-thing-to-do-daily-on-earth-before-death. I mean how insightful the words are. The lyricist might be sitting at some bar and trying to hit some random girl and when everything was going as per his wish the girl turned out to be prostitute , thats why haath sekna and all.

Song: Aaj dheel chod raha hai kal khud hi tokega

Meaning: once again brilliant piece of writing. Here he is talking about addiction of things. How? See aaj dheel chod raha hai  means guy is missing an opportunity ( read girls). Obviously in the age of skewed sex ratio, only a fool could do that. Thats why he has mentioned Kal khud hi tokega. Obviously a person will regret after previous sinful activity .

Song: Aaj mere liye chair kheech raha hai kal meri skirt kheechega. Kheechega ki nahi ?

Meaning: Obviously Chair Khichna  for girls comes in good etiquettes of boys, but once again lyricist gave a good thought to it. Why anyone would does chair khichna act? Obviously for a purpose. And in next line he has mentioned the purpose. [parental advisory , explicit  content] Unfortunately I am not going to give my insightful thoughts about later part. Use your own imaginations :D

Song: Akkad bakkad bambay bo, Assi nabbe poore sau

Meaning: this line is  to give a nostalgic feeling to the song. I hope Thakrey scion will not mind highly controversial word BAMBAY.

Song: Sau rupeya ka dum jo lu, do sau ghum ho jaye udan chu

Meaning: though this line should not be there in the song as it is talking about smoking. But even in this case lyricist has tried to show his gyan. Like when you smoke a puff of 100 rs dum ( ganjha would be proper word) , you waive off your 200 ghums. A ghum could be anything but for a moment you don’t give a damn to that ghum.

Song: (phir kyun main tu kar reh tain tu)

Meaning: when I initially heard this song, i thought last word is TATTOO but once again jaydeep sahib proved me wrong. It is only about tain tu . now don’t ask me what the hell is this.

Song: Unche se uncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga

Meaning: Now this is the best line of this song. I mean what a choice of words. What a location described. I have just become a fan of Jaydeep sir after this line.  I am deadly sure lyricist was sitting in toilet trying to relieve him. But i think he doesn’t believe in wasting time so he started thinking something. Then he saw his reflection in mirror and thought why should not he use his own condition in the song. He gave a thought because it could be unethical to talk about toilet in song but then he thought why not. And the rest is history and this has become the best line ever written in the history of bollywood lyrics.

Song: Phir kaahe ki society, saali kaahe ka paakhanda

Meaning: in previous line he just broke the trend of society , so it was quite obvious to write something about society in next line. Obviously not using potty,susu etc words in song is pakhanda of society, but jaydeep has just broke that pakhanda and cleared a way for all other lyricists.

Song: Bheje se kaleje se, kalaje ke kalaje se

Meaning: Finally he told which body organ he used to think this song. No one could use bheja ( brain) to write such a master-piece. So it was Kaleja or might be kaleja ka kaleja ( don’t know if such thing even exist) which he used in writing this song.

Remaining song is copied from cult classic Dum maro Dum song. So it would be useless to talk about that now. I hope you all will also imagine the condition of lyricist whenever you next listen this song.

yet another day

Suddenly I listened a whistle sound.

I ignored it, but I listened it once again. I looked out of my window and suddenly I realized moon is trying to say hi to me.

I replied him back by waving my hand.

Moon: so once again all alone.

Me: leave it yaar.  Its nothing new for me.

Moon: look outside, don’t you think there is someone specially for you.

Me: oh yeah but the thing is you need to look outside, being a lazy ass I am looking for her on my laptop.

Moon: dude , must tell you this generation has access to facebook but it has fogotten face to face chat.

Me: don’t lecture me, I am already not in a valentine mood.

Moon : yeah happens. Ok bye, I have lots of stars to celebrate my valentine. Hope you will have someone for next year.

I came back to my laptop, opened its lid; double clicked on firefox and blindly my fingers tapped fb.com. I wished some of my friend and then started flirting with some of my female friends.  Then I made a playlist on itunes, no need to say with some retro songs. Damn, first song of the collection was “ koi hota jisko hum apna kah lete “. I mean how many ironies should I see in a single night.

I am not in a hurry to be in relation ( only a 26 year old guy say such foolish things, of course I am in hurry ;) ) but somehow because of old habits I think I will for the first time prove my astronomical chart false and  make my parents happy. Somehow I know that I will continue this trend of waiting for some more time. Till then I only can wish others a happy valentine day.

P.S. tomorrow I may help Shiv Sena or Bajrang Dal voluntarily for their generic cause of celebrating this day differently from the rest of the world.

P.P.S : itune has become nasty, it is now playing “mann bawra tujhe dhundta “ :( a great song sung by rahat fateh ali khan but a perfect song for people like me.

A complete lyrics of this song :

(Man Baawra.. Tujhe Dhoondhta..) - 2

(Paane Ki Khone Ki Paimaaishein

Jeene Ki Saari Meri Khwaahishein) - 2

Aasma Yeh Jahaan Sab Lage Thehra...

(Man Baawra.. Tujhe Dhoondhta...) - 2

(Badgumaa Tha Naadan Yeh Dil, Dhadkegaa Naa Kabhi

Honsh Kho Baitha Hai Paagal, Roothi Hai Zindagi) - 2

Khud Se Baatein Kar Karke Hansna

Bheed Mein Bhi Tanhaa Sa Lagna

Baj Rahi Hai Jaltarange, Saanson Ke Darmayaa

(Man Baawra.. Tujhe Dhoondhta..) - 2

(Unseeyat Ke Khwaab Chunkar, Katti Raatein Meri..

Iltzaa-E-Deed Lekar, Phatke Ab Aankhein Meri..) - 2

Meelon Lambe Yeh Faaslein Hai

Bas Tassavvur Ke Silsile Hai

Rat Jage Gumsum Pade Hai, Pal Ko Pe Raah Hairaan..

(Man Baawra.. Tujhe Dhoondhta..) - 2

(Paane Ki Khone Ki Paimaaishein

Jeene Ki Saari Meri Khwaahishein) - 2

Aasma Yeh Jahaan Sab Lage Thehra

(Man Baawra.. Tujhe Dhoondhta..) - 2

Tujhe Dhoondhta.. Tujhe Dhoondhta...

An open Letter to year 2010

I know now you have become a part of past calendar, I know you will never come back but you have left a solid impact on our life. Not on bigger level even on my personal life you have got “some” importance. Yes I turned 25 at the time when you were at your initial stage. 25 is a great number because now legally I am allowed to do many things which I was doing illegally. Also you became a part of some historic events which happened on your calendar.

1)  A year of corruption: yes you and we saw many money mongers, they kept on looting us and making you black with their bad deeds. As it was estimated by some newspaper that many BIG names tried to paint you black and made our life worst by the corruption of some 1500000000000rs. The only good thing happened out of it was now we Indian know that a crore has 7 zeroes and money does not end on crores. Who say india is a poor country, see the figure it is enough to buy even a company like Microsoft or google. Each and every party tried its best to enjoy the money which WE Indians have paid as our taxes. Like BJP tried to earn from mining in Karnatka and also tried its hand in Uttrakhand ( I mentioned BJP first because people may say I am biased on congress :P and yes they are correct) and Congress tried its hand in each and everything ( be it telecom , commonwealth games, adarsh housing society, etc etc). BSP too got its cherry by doing frauds in MNREGA. In short there was race between all the leading parties who are in power to loot as much possible.

2) A year of commonwealth game: Though Commonwealth was a dark episode for the nation, be it corruption or issue related to hygienic conditions or failed A R Rahman’s song but it also won hearts of Indians by its opening ceremony as well performances of Indian players. For the first time they were on 2^nd spot in any event and won many individual medals. Kudos ( English wala) to all the players and KUDA ( hindi wala) on politicians involved in india’s one of the biggest scam ( which got beated by another politician in coming months. So you know 2010, you played a pivotal role in both the senses.

3) A year of Telecom corruption: You know people in the parliament played a KON BANEGA BIGGEST CORRUPTED LEADER and no marks for guessing Mr. A Raja won it. Not only he gave preferences to his “CHOICES” but also responsible for the loss of more than 1lac crores to the nations. You know I am mentioning this corruption separately because it has been referred as Baap of all the corruption happened in India. No need to say Mr. A Raja is safe in his den and his Supporting parties are just trying to play the DHARMA of coalition government. Thanks to the short term memories of Indians , such people will once again come back to powers.

4) A year of Sachin Tendulkar: dear 2010 you will also be remembered in the pages of history because you were the year when the lord of the cricket completed his 50^th century. I don’t know whether this record will ever be broken by any other or not but I don’t think anyone will ever come close to the records of this little god.

5) A year of “Internet Hindus” : yes we , the people who supported India and tried to highlight all the stupid things ever said by or showed by foolish Indian media had been mentioned as Internet Hindus. Sagarika Ghose invented this term. And yes this is the only highlighted work of Sagarika because her news content is of no quality , she maintains a poor knowledge about anything happening in India. But thanks to her, because of her many people have now started to kick stupidity out of Indian media. Be it Barkha-gate ( issue related to Barkha Dutt and Radia case) or Saffron terrorism ( another term invented by media people) they got their feet back in their mouths.

There are many more things which you and we have seen but I am not any more interested to make you sad with the things which you have actually faced. Thanks for being the part of life. I know we Indians will never miss you but yes we will remember you.

Thanks

MAD

P.S.: I forgot to mention in this bashing game that you have also become an integral part of life because I am once again in academics, I tried my hand to study abroad but later on cancelled the plans on my own wishes, turned 25 ( as mentioned earlier in the post),met so many new friends, my sister got married and many more things. Even I have many reasons to remember you.