Lexical analysis of song "Hookah Bar"

Indian lyricists never let me down; they just keep on providing enough material ( crap) for my blog. When everything was going against me and I was actually in a mood to put a board of “shop is closed” on my blog; Himesh Reshamaiya took an avatar of lyricist and wrote one of the best (crap) lyrics I have ever heard.

Let me tell you one thing honestly, I am biggest fan of HR. Only a fan like me could afford to watch first day first show of “Aapka Suroor” movie ( his 1st movie as actor). In fact I watched his second movie “Karzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” on first day second show ( yeah I actually met with the board which claimed that 1^st show of the movie was houseful on ticket counter).

Anyways a day back one of my friends suggested me this song “Hookah Bar”. I am sure she just wanted to irritate me and to test my patience when I was in worst ever mood. So I finally downloaded the whole “Khiladi 786” album, chanted Hanuman Chalisa for several times and started listening Khiladi 786 songs. I shouldn’t lie here I actually liked the entire album. It was like I got 7 new blog entries in my Lexical Analysis section of blog ( this album has 7 song and remaining are remixes). Anyways I picked up this “Hookah Bar” song for 2 reasons:

1) I actually like hookah and hookah bar which got closed last year because of government decision.

2) HR is in soul of this song. I mean he sang it, he wrote it, he performed it, he produced it, he shit it, he crapped it, he etc etc and being an ardent fan of HR ( read para number 2 for more detail AGAIN) , I picked this song.

So here is my lexical analysis of song “Hookah Bar”.

1) Teri ankhiyo ka war , jaise sher ka shikar

First thing first, “sher ka shikar” is not allowed in India anymore, so comparing anything with it is punishable crime. May be HR is still in Mughal era but then teri ankhiyo ka war is not possible in that era.

2) Tera husn dhuyedaar, jaise jalta Cigaar

Probably the best line ever written after “uche se ucha banda potty per betha nanga” line ( read my lexical analysis of song dum maro dum here). I mean just see the imagination of HR, he is claiming that someone’s face is DHUYEDAAR ( smoky) which means it looks like

Then he compared the whole thing with “Jalta Cigaar”. Now I actually know why censor board wanted to ban smoking scenes from movies at the first place. Sala actress k face ki jagah dhua imagine karoge to censor wale kya kuch khaak aur kuch sochenge.

Then HR sang the same 2 lines for some more times ( FYI just to fill the gap)

3) Tere pyar ka nasha kabhi aar kabhi paar

Is he really talking about some sort of nasha which  was actually happened because of Pyar? I mean is he really talking about Pyar ( love) or some kind of boat which one can use to go here and there.

I am telling you with such kind of songs HR is seriously going to rock the world by his lyrics ( seriously people start throwing rocks on their music players after listening to such crap).

Then a continuous loop of “tera pyar hukkah bar”. Don’t you think it is a same way used by Police , when they actually beat shit out of innocent person to prove him guilty.

4) tu jo na ho mere rubaroo

Bin tere jeene se main daru

Hai yahi tamanna meri bas tere liye jiye maru

Tera hua jo deedar baaje dil mai sitar

Tera husn dhuyedar jaise jalta cigar

Now this is something interesting, in 1^st line he is just asking him/her ( gender is not cleared anywhere, NOT MY FAULT) to be near to HR. in fact in 2^nd line he gave a way to scare HR, Just hide the person (he/she) HR love. Now in 3^rd line, he is just talking about his wish that he just wanted to live/die for him/her.

Again continuous loop of “tera pyar hukkah bar”. Ab bas bhi kar yaar pata chal gaya logo ko.

5) Jaage hum yuhi raat bhar

Hai hawaon mai awargi

Ye kashish, yeh deewangi

Hai tujhi se meri tishangi

He junoon ye sawar mai to bhula sansar

I actually don’t give a damn to this crap anymore but please someone update my dictionary. What the hell does this “Tishaangi” word means? I mean I only know one meaning of it which is hunger or thrust. I don’t know which grammar in this world will justify this line “hai tujhi se meri pyas”. Or may be like a nursery kid he just chose one word which is actually rhythmic to above line.

I don’t know why I am looking for a logic in a song like Hookah bar. Again I just forgot to mention one thing “tera pyar hukkah bar”, sala aadhe india mai to tu waise hi illegal hai.

P.S. Did anyone notice anywhere concept of hookahbar. I mean if I replace word hukkah bar with candybar or normal bar or any god damn bar, will anything change here?

P.P.S. Thanks for the government to ban Hookah Bar before the release of this shit song. Now please go ahead and ban this song as well because it is more dangerous than actual hukkah  bar. 

Chittagong : Movie Review

60 kids and 1 master fighting against the British kingdom. Seems impossible? Yes it is a part of history which you might have not read in any of the history books. You can blame your NCERT books for that but the truth  is, those 60 kids and master fought against the British Kingdom and cut all the lines of  the British army of Chittagong for one complete day. The result as predicted was not in favour of them.
Read more at http://www.vividmagazine.in/chittagong-movie-review/#vojUB2MShcBIfYBL.99 

Lexical Analysis of Ishq wala Love

After “Dum maro Dum” song, I was actually looking for a song to do its lexical analysis and here it is brilliantly written Ishq wala Love song. I mean it is one such song which will change a way of writing lyrics of songs. I mean what a brilliant way to educate people. It will take away pain of those people who start looking for a dictionary whenever they hear any English word in hindi song. Seriously after a long time Bollywood has tried to teach masses. One should remember how lyricists of earlier age tried to teach masses with songs like C A T cat cat mane billi, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 13 karu gin gin, and a  aa ee u oo mera dil na todo. Ishq wala love song is one such song of that calibre.

So after taking tooooooooooo much time I finally tried to decode the lyrics of this song. I just wanted to know what lyricist was actually thinking when he was writing lyrics of this song. 

Surkh wala, sauz wala, Faiz wala love

Meaning: I don’t know whether surkh, sauz are some names of guys but Faiz is actually a name of guy. And that guy must be so lucky that his kind of love is some unique kind of love.  

Hota hai jo love se jyada waise wala love

Meaning: Coming to second line, I must say it is just a brilliant way to solve inequality question of mathematics. Just read this line again, hota hai jo love se jyada waise wala love. Let “x” is one such love. So this equation says x>=x. Isnt a brilliant way to solve mathematics of variable “x” or in this case love.

Ishq wala love

Meaning: here comes the marvel of writing. Ishq wala love. It is like saying kutta wala dog, chalchitra wali movie, billi wali cat etc. I mean what a unique way to teach to masses. Now you may people saying “ I ishq You” instead of “I love You”. A round of applause for lyricist who took the pain to change whole scenario of mad lovers who just feel pain of saying these golden words “I love You”. Now they can just say “I Ishq You” and feel better.

Hua jo dard bhi toh humko aaj kuch zyada hua

Ishq wala love

Meaning: now see the brilliancy of lyricist, how he even gave a new height to dard (Pain). Just feel the pain of lyricist. It is like he was already in pain and someone came from somewhere and kicked on his balls to give new height to his pain. 

Ye kya hua hai kya khabar yehi pata hai zyada hua

Ishq wala love

Meaning: Now lyricist is actually confused about the things happening. He is not aware what is happening with him; but still he wanted to scale it somehow so he also showed the maximum limit of it. Again let awareness is variable “x”, so lyricist has value of awareness more than this “x”

Agar ye usko bhi hua hai phir bhi mujhko zyada hua

Ishq wala love

Meaning: now forget about maths. He is actually trying to compare human feelings. I mean he is sure that male feels more than female. Ok on public demand it is like 

Feeling (of whatever) of male > feeling ( of whatever) of female.

See this crap here. I don’t want to write further about this crap song. I don’t even care whether any friend of mine likes it or not. For me it is just one bullshit, sprinkled with ultra crap wala shit music. 

The News Hour with Arnab Goswamy on EK THE TIGER

Arnab: Hello ladies and gentlemen, in a worst ever situation happened in our nation, A top secret RAW agent named “Tiger” eloped away with top secret ISI agent. To hide their mistake, our Intelligence agency is trying to destroy documents related to him. We are here to discuss how is it going to impact on national security? Is our “top secret” data in safe hands?

To discuss it today we have Raw Head, Digvijay Singh from ruling party congress, Prakash Jawdekar from main opposition party BJP,  Dalit Leader, Security Analyst and Arvind Kejriwal from Team Anna.

Raw Head sir, I would start with you. Why on earth you are destroying data related to Tiger?

Raw Head: See Arnab, 1^st of all you are wrong with your data. I must tell you, Tiger was our best spy ever. He is the one who could go to any damn country in the world. Break all their properties, stop train and put life of several hundred passengers in danger and still manage to come out of that country easily. Tiger is one such spy whom we used to track the record of people meeting professor. I meant to say Tiger is one such brilliant spy who can cook “Daal” for me, doesn’t spend any penny from his salary, track such stupid records and destroy property of other nations. Let me assure you Arnab, our data is in safe hands. Else tell me both ISI and RAW are after his life and still he is making fool of all of us.

Tiger before running away

Arnab: He ran away with top secret spy of ISI, Pakistani intelligence agency and you are saying that data is in safe hands. People of this nation want to know what is the definition of safe hands? People of India are seeking for a justice.

Raw Agent: do you think you represent them all. You don’t have….

Arnab: Over to Digvijay Singh. Sir, such things are happening when UPA is in regime. Your government is still struggling hard with corruption issue and now top secret spy of our nation eloped with Pakistani agent.

Digvijay Singh: Arnab, Tiger joined RAW in year 2003, at that time NDA government was in power. They had recruited such people in our intelligence. I must tell you it is a high level of corruption by NDA government. I will ask government to make a commission to enquire about all such recruitment of NDA era.

Arnab & Digvijay Singh discussing about Tiger

Prakash Jawdekar: Digvijay ji, I think….

Arnab: Digvijay ji, I must stop you at this moment. Prakash Jawdekar has something to say.

Prakash: Digvijay Ji, I think you have failed to hear that he was the top spy of India. He ran away when your government was in power. I am 100% sure he got this corrupted thoughts after seeing ruling party in all these 2g scams, coal scam and many others. The point is government people are getting confidence of doing all sort of corruption.

Digvijay: My dear friend Prakash ji you don’t know anything. I am sure Tiger has a RSS background. Only an RSS agent could tie up with terrorists or ISI agents.

Prakash: Digvijay Ji, you have got a problem. Even I must say whenever you open any newswebsite you close it down because such website supports “RSS Feeds”.

Jawdekar replying back to Digvijay Singh on RSS issue.

Arnab: We have Dalit Leader in our panel to discuss it. Sir what according to you is problem?

Dalit Leader: See Arnab, RAW has no problem with agent who ran away and got killed in Iraq by Tiger. Just because Tiger was dalit, he is getting framed in this issue.

Arnab: But sir Tiger’s surname is Rathode, it means he was not a dalit.

Dalit Leader: If he was not a dalit, then why on the holy earth you had invited me to this panel?

You know Arnab, although you belong to Assam and now live in Mumbai but you actually behave like a typical Delhite who invites zillion of people in wedding of his son/daughter just to show off his strength. I am leaving this panel now.

Arnab: Sir, please we request you to stay here and to discuss this issue. Well now joining us Mr. Arvind Kejriwal. Arvind another issue for you now. Will you opt for another “Annual hunger strike till death” now?

Arvind: Arnab , we will fight till our death. We will sit for “hunger strike till death” on monthly basis now. We will make sure Janlokpal bill will pass in next session and we will show to public that both BJP and Congress are corrupt.

Arvind talking about "Monthly Hunger strike"

Arnab: Sir, we are here talking about RAW issue not corruption.

Arvind: See Arnab, you think yourself as a judge and never let other person to speak. My fight is to get power errrr……….. I mean Team Anna is dedicated for corruption free corruption errrrrrrrr…….. I mean corruption free India.

Security Issue Analyst: Arnab do you think I am a paper weight which looks pretty in any meeting? You have not given any chance to me to speak.

Arnab: Sir, I was about to come to you. Sir so tell me what should be the next step and how do you think it as an issue?

Security Issue Analyst: see 1^st of all he is just a spy. We are living in a nation where even PM has no clear data and limited access to his own powers and you are only talking about a RAW agent who is hiding away in some other country. So I am sure Tiger has very limited data.

2^nd It is a mistake of Raw Head who sent him to UN meeting in front of journalists from all over the world and where delegation members from every countries were there.

What I am trying to say is he was just a spy not miss India.

Arnab: thank you all for coming here. So ladies and Gentlemen, I am sure Tiger is safe and data is in safe hands. If intelligence agencies of 2 nations are not able to catch him up then no one on earth could reach to him. Good Night.

Jism 2, a Movie review.

“har jism ki ek expiry date hoti hai”. I was shocked after listening to this dialogue. I rechecked ticket, and confirmed that am I watching the same movie or not. But then I realized yes script writer has written a well researched and thought provoking dialogue. Yes every jism has expiry date and for “Jism” movie, expiry date came a long back with the 1^st Jism movie ( Bipasha and John starred).

First thing first, it was not a porn movie and another thing is it was not even qualified to call as movie. Why? You can thank to censor board of India which doesn’t permit nudity in movies else Bhatt camp would have started “Indian bangbros” a long back. (Don’t ask me details about this name. Hit Google replace India with America and you will get an answer). It is not qualified to be a movie because it lacks every element of movies like story, acting, direction, etc etc etc.

Ok let me start with the story. It is a typical Bhatt camp movie. Got my point? Well like earlier movies of Bhatt camp, story of it also lifted from some other movie. The only difference is that earlier they used to copy movies from Hollywood , this time they picked up a DVD of their own production and copied “Gangster” movie ( Huh, gangster is also a copy of some Hollywood flick). So basically JIsm 2 is a poor mixture of gangster movie and all other movies in which Sunny Leone has acted before.

Ok so basically it is a story of a “Porn Star”( Sunny Leone)  who was used to trap a gangster ( Randeep) by a lizard type looking IB agent ( Arunoday Singh, grandson of late minister Arjun Singh). Incidentally Sunny was ex-gf of Randeep in movie. And in the end madam Bhatt finished movie with “Peace” message that it is not terrorists who attack on nation but “Weapon making companies” which sell guns for profit. How peaceful. Seriously this will solve the world problem of terrorism. By the way in the end of this movie all the 5 characters ( yes there are only 5 people in whole movie) shot dead by each other.  

This movie was made in less than shoe string budget; In fact I would say Shoe string cost more today than actual budget of this movie. This movie was totally shot at Sri Lanka and with only 5-6 characters. Yes only 5-6 characters were used in movie.

1) Sunny Leone: this movie rested on the shoulder on USP of Sunny Leone but Bhatt couldn’t make a complete Porn movie, so they had to satisfy with making it as half star porn movie. In the movie Sunny is introduced as a porn star who was used to trap deadliest ever terrorist Randeep just because he was Sunny’s ex-bf.   It was never clear in the movie that why she chose this noblest profession? Ok I understand that she was upset because she was in love with Randeep and he left her in the movie but still a profession like “Porn Star”. Didn’t you hear other professions like BPO, Banks etc?

By the way please update me whether she was asthmatic in movie or not, because in every 2-3 minutes she used to start breathing so hard with all focus of camera on her “breasts”.

By god ki kasam, Sunny Leone will cry a lot after reading subtitles of dialogues of her first movie in which she was not totally nude. And yeah madam, acting in porn movie might be difficult but acting in real fully fledged movie is toughest and you lost your point here. Please go and enroll yourself in some acting school.

2) Arunoday Singh : Dude first of all congratulations. You got a chance to hit with a porn star. You deserve applause. Because after looking at your face and acting skills, I was sure of one thing that Jism 2 could be your last movie. Ok you have a good physique for IB officer role but dude there is one thing which is known as “expression”, where was that in full movie? And promise me dude you will never ever cry in front of camera. It was looking like some lizard is giving warning to its prey.

basically Arunday copied crying or shouting skills from here.

3) Randeep: Bhai, I know you are not getting movies and you are forced to do good roles like one you acted in cocktail movie. Why the hell did you act in this movie? You were looking like totally maniac in movie.

4) IB head: ok you were crap. That’s it

In addition there was a character of a guy who was shown as friend of Randeep but has only 2-3 min presence on screen.

Now coming to other important points of movie:

1) songs: Bhatt movies are famous for its songs but unfortunately it is not one of such kind of movies. 1-2 songs are good.

2) Dialogues: trust me dialogues of this movie was written in 1970s or 1980s but used in this movie. All the dialogues were so cheesy that for once you want to puke on the face of scriptwriter. Ok here are some samples which I noted down at that time.           

“aao is lamhe ko jee lete hai, amar kar dete hai”

“har jism ki ek expiry date hoti hai”

“Apne dil ki shikayat khoon se kardi, bas ek shikayat hai ki kaash mere khoon ka rang mere ishq ki tarah gehra hota.”

 “jo aadmi apne mulk se wafadari na kar saka, usne iske jism se wafadari kar li”

“hum dono ek dusre se jhuth bol sakte hai, per is jism ka kya karein”

And here is golden one, my fav “Usse pyaar karna meri woh pyaas thi jisse pyaas bujhti thi meri.”

3) Location: trust me it was looking more like “ Srilanka tourism ad” than an Indian movie. In some scenes you even forget that you are getting tortured by poor acting and worst ever dialogues just because of these locations.

4) Direction n story : it was directed by Pooja Bhatt, and it is enough to tell about direction of this creepy movie. I would have written about story as well but unfortunately there was no story in movie.

This film may get some audience because Leone’s earlier fame but it will fail to garner more audience. Earlier I just wanted to give stars in negative to this movie but then I realized at least I could take it as 2 hour long Sri Lanka Tourism advertise with some steamy scenes in it, hence 1 star to this movie for its locations.

* /5

TeZz- a movie review

Why? I will keep on asking this question till I am alive.  Why did I watch “TeZz” movie?  Ok story of movie in a single line, an illegal immigrant was caught by British police and was deported back to India. So he came back and put a (Hoax) bomb in a train and asked for money and finally shot dead by police. Voila Priyadarshan made an entire movie on this single line.

As I expected the basic idea was copied from “Speed” or our very own “the burning train”. I mean initially I was like “Wow finally an Indian movie with good action”, but later on with all poor logics used in movie I just wanted to bang my head with my laptop ( but then I realised all parts of my laptops are already living their last minutes. I mean what the hell I just saw. Any logic? Anywhere?

Actually the main problem with movie is that it had been directed by comedy king Priyadarshan, so he tried to give another dose of comedy but in a very different way. I mean he couldn’t use those same one liners, running sequences in every movie. Tch. So he tried another way. The action way.

So the story of movie goes like this. Ajay Devgn ( Damn sorry Ajay I just don’t follow numerology so I really don’t know which surname should I use now Devgun, Devgn, Devgan etc etc etc ) was an illegal immigrant or say a tourist came to UK and married to Kangna as per Hindu rituals, ok let me say it very clearly “idiot sala, marry wherever you want and as per any ritual but remember even in India you need to register your marriage and dude you forgot it in UK”. So court declared him illegal immigrant and sent him back to India, mind it with a stamp that he could never return back to UK.

So to take revenge with UK government he met with illegal arms dealer with the help of Zayed Khan ( dude are you seriously back in Industry??? Sad moment). He purchased kilos of bombs but what a bad luck that arm dealer got caught by police. Somehow our “Smart” Zayed Khan put bomb in one wagon train ( His name is Khan and he is not a terrorist).  Later on Sameera Ready ( another come back in same movie, God please kill me) put another bomb in a train.

Ok one thing which I want to clear here only, these two kids were helping Mr. Devgn ( another apology)because these two were also illegal immigrant in UK and were helped by “Sir” Devgn.

So Mr. Devgn called railway traffic department and informed them about his naughty act ( so cute). Now here comes an entry of our own Anil Kapoor as Police officer who just got retired a day back but was called by department to solve this case. Hmmmm now I am seriously proud of Indians who are police officers in some other country, they prove that local police officers are not even worth of solving one case by their own. Now Mr Devgn ( apology again) asked 10 million euros ( not Rupa euro, mind it).

Somehow Mr. Kapoor agreed UK government to use this amount like a carrot in front of employees oops I mean donkeys. Now chase begins, Mr Devgn used some 10-12 different mobile phones, used every tactic and got money. But in between Reddy ji and Khan ji were died.

In the last Devgn told railway traffic department that bomb was already fused so it was like an hoax ( Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani?) but he too got shot dead in last scene of movie ( gayi bhens pani mein).

Ok after watching this movie I was left with some unanswered questions. I know it is not new if movie had been directed by Priyadarshan.

1)      How the hell each and every citizen of UK was speaking Hindi? Did India attack UK and finally took revenge of making us their colonial colony? I mean I was just ROTFLL ( round on the floor laughing literally) on every scene wherever  any firang was speaking hindi ( in short I was laughing on every scene)

2)      Ok on serious note WHEN DID VIDEOCON START SELLING ITS MOBILE PHONES IN UK?( no my caps lock wasn’t accidently on, but I seriously want to know answer of this question) I mean company is even in trouble in India both in GSM services ( thanks to 2g scam) and handset division.

3)      If UK government deported some illegal immigrants back to India ( or tried to send them back) were they really wrong? I mean you can’t expect “Mehman-navaji” treatment like Indian government everywhere ( ok here I am highlighting national serious issue of Bangladeshi immigrants and Kasab)

4)      Just for god sake tell me honestly how did Mr. Devgn managed to go back to UK if he was banned to enter in country for lifetime? Please please please. It may solve problems of many people who want to go UK but damn UK laws which are really strict now.

5)      Why the hell there were songs in movie? I didn’t find any sense of using any song anywhere. It includes item number of Mallika Sherawat, even it wasn’t required. But then songs never make sense in any movie.

6)      Why and how in end scene Delhi Durbar caught fire? Did they put too many chillies in Biryani which made tummy upsets of firangs?

7)      Why and How Mr. Anil Kapoor was the first one to reach anywhere in the city like London? Don’t tell me he got his Mr. India powers once again back.

8)      Mr. Priyadarshan, How many movies did you really care to copy to make this “Khichdi”?

9)      Mr.Priyadarshan why didn’t you try to make comedy movie?

10)   Why did I even watch this movie?

I know getting answers of each and every question is as difficult as passing engineering without KT. Seriously I was like :O after watching this movie. Acting wise city London acted really well and rest of the star cast made fool out of them. Direction was awesome and camera work was really great. To be honest 1 or 2 scene really had great action but then movie was 2 hour long and watching 2 hour long movie for those 2 scenes is like looking for a seat in fully crowded Mumbai local train.

I am not sure why actors like Ajay Devgn , Kangna ranaut and Boman Irani worked in this movie. I lost all hopes from Anil Kapoor already after watching his “important” role in MI4. And for Zayed Khan and Sameera ready there is only one idiom in English “Beggars are not choosers”.

Mr. Priyadarshan it would be better if you make films only in comedy genre or at least come up with some story.

P.S. Mohan Lal ( Great Malyalam Superstar) too acted in this movie and was not in a guest role. It is on your talent to  see him in movie. I don’t know why hindi movie director always make fun of him by giving him such roles. First role of Thakur in RamGopal Verma ki aag and now this. huh

Namoone you meet on last day of your exam

So now I have become MBA or let me say in this way, I have got 2 most desired degrees in India. I can describe my MBA journey in 3 words only “Marketing, Branding and Adventurous”. Well If I ever get time or hit by nostalgia in near future I will surely write one more on MBA life.

So yesterday I wrote my last exam as student life. It was supposed to be toughest exam of MBA (at least of 4^th semester). As usual I reached examination centre (yes Mumbai University gives centres as according to your area preference) much before the time. So after glancing all notes and reading something more important on mobile I put all study material in my bag and started observing people there. Then I observed that I can categorised all in some relevant categories (yeah I know my MBA mind, it never stop working in segmenting things).

1)      Studious: this category belongs to those students who don’t want to leave book at any cost. These are those types of students who put study material back into their bag at 2:59PM for 3:00PM exam. No wonder these are also those people who stop writing at 6:00PM for 3-6 exam.  You can see him carrying tons of reading material, with 100s of pens, ID card and admit card in most secured way. You will not see these people talking to other people. They even don’t bother if anyone is observing them.

2)      Mediocre: this category is not that studious but they pretend to others that they are studious. They are only interested in listening to discussions of other students. They try to show that they are more anxious people even Brokers of share market are nothing in front of them. They too carry tons of material but mind it they are yet to start from any. They are more interested in increasing rumours (these are same people who claim they have got leaked paper, someone told them that these are important topics). These people always know someone who said something and is actually related to this exam. There are chances that when you ask them about the name of that “someone” you may probably get answers like “mere dost ka dost ka dost ka dost ........................... infinite loop”.

3)      Fattu: ok no hard feelings for them but these people are somehow related to mediocre category. These people generally cry a lot. These people try to become “RUDALI” before and after exams. They generally carry some material but still they have fear of everything.

4)      Chitters: This is the boldest category. Just 2-3 hours before the exam they don’t take pain of reading books instead they write a concise version of it in the forms of chits. Now a days, in the era of smart phones such people don’t even take a pain of making chits. They just transfer all the relevant data on their phones and use it wisely at the time of exam.

5)      Re-appearers: This is the only category of people who know their result even before appearing in exam. They know they are going to sit for same exam after 6 months. They come for exams just to boost confidence of other students. How? Simple, see there are positive thoughts and negative thoughts. To equal negative thoughts there should be equal amount of positive thoughts ( thought idea copied from equal energy principle as well from Newton’s 2^nd law of motion). In my last exam of MBA I met one such dude. I still remember his dialogue “ yaar chodd kya dekhna ab to November mai hi thik se dunga”. I mean that whole scene was actually hilarious.

6)      Unemployed quota: now this category belongs to those people who still have frustration, who just need something to vent their anger. They have just “dunia-ki-faad-kar-rakh-dunga” attitude. Now the friendcircle of such quota is actually inspiring and hilarious. At the last moment of exam they don’t care about exam but about his career option. Now I saw this dude at my examination centre. That dude was good looking, so his friends were trying to inspire him. One of his friend said to him “ come on yaar you are good looking, why don’t you try in modelling, remember one of alumni of our college is John Abraham and he got his first modelling assignment after his MBA”.

7)      Desperate lovers: Now this category is very unique and different from any other category exists. This category donot care about exams, they don’t even know which subject they are going to appear. They just want to “utilise” this last day. They know one thing that they may never meet that girl or boy ( who is supposed to be his/her crush from 1^st day of college) after this day. See they can reappear in this exam after 6 months but there is a chance that they will not get any other day to show their feelings. So they just go ahead, take risks and commit a mistake and propose that girl/boy. The result of this exercise decides how much beer cans he can drink in night.

8)      Social Networking kidde: These are those category of students who use Mobile at fullest. They update their arrival on foursquare as soon they reach their centre, then they update it on twitter that they are going to appear in final exam and finally just 2-3 minutes before exam they post on facebook and twitter that “woohooo last status update as student”. No penny for guess I did the same. I updated the whole thing on all available social media websites.

It takes lots of observation to write such article and I did it before last exam of life. Truly nothing can take place of student life where you have time for everything and have no time of everything. I hope you got its meaning.  

koshish karne walo ki haar nahi hoti

Poems, poems have strong meaning. Thats why i think in hindi there are so many “ras” or say tastes for poems. Whatever be your mood , a poem is there for you. It is sometimes a reflection of your mind. It is sometimes a part of your life.

Now a day because of all the issues happening in life like job search and project and actually many others, I was kind of in a low morale. I was like why? Why such things are happening? Why always am I in such problems?

So I ended up remembering a poem written by great Shri Harivansh Rai bachchan. This poem is considered as one of the best inspirational poem ever written in hindi. It is like each and every line is written to rush an adrenaline in your blood. Here is one of my favourite poems till date.

Lehron se Darkar nauka par nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti
Nanhi cheenti jab daana lekar chalti hai,
chadhti deewaron par, sau bar phisalti hai.
Man ka vishwas ragon mein saahas bharta hai,
chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai.
Akhir uski mehnat bekar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.
Dubkiyan sindhu mein gotakhor lagata hai,
ja ja kar khali haath lautkar aata hai
Milte nahi sahaj hi moti gehre paani mein,
badhta dugna utsah isi hairani mein.
Muthi uski khali har bar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahi hoti.
Asaflta ek chunauti hai, ise sweekar karo,
kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo.
Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyago tum,
Sangharsh ka maidan chhodkar mat bhago tum.
Kuch kiye bina hi jai jaikar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.
– Harivansh Rai Bacchan

Have Rs 28 per day? You are rich dude.

     Congrats India, not because you beat shit out of Pakistan in last one day international match; in fact not also because one of our god who was struggling to hit century made 100^th century, but because our esteemed “Planning” commission has lowered down the poverty line to Rs 28 per day.

     It means if you are earning more than Rs 28 per day, you are not poor. It means yay you are rich enough as per the standard of Indian government. So it means all those beggars who earn more than Rs28 per day may lose their license of begging.

    I never got good marks in economics even though several trees died because of that answer sheets, I mean I filled hell lots of papers in exam. Just to flaunt my writing skills, I wrote 15 pages for 20 marks question and shouted Yay beat this. Well leave it... the fact out of matter is I never got marks because of knowledge. So whom should I blame? My prime minister is economist, Planning commissioner is economist and lots of other people are economist ( like there is one pony tail cool dude who made alternative budget for Rahul Gandhi, Kind of height of sycophancy and desperation to get UCG or AICTE approval for his MBA colleges) but see the condition of economy of our country. I mean some cool dudes of our government even compared our economy with Pakistani economy. Seriously for a moment I thought Pakistan is some new super power and India is some country situated in central part of Africa.

     One more thing which I fail to understand is that why the hell everything got ruined just because term “Plan” is added to it. I mean see planning commission of India, my plans for my life, Rahul Gandhi’s plan for UP (ooopssss) or Dinesh Trivedi plan for railway. I mean mere word plan is added to something and that thing is a part of history now. Same thing is happening with planning commission. Whatever they plan for nation is more or less as beneficial to nation as having Pakistan and Bangladesh as neighbouring nations.

      So after lots of thinking ( yeah I have hell lot of time even though I am working on project, looking for job, ruining my karma etc etc) I decided to write What you can do with those Rs 28 or what you can not do with that much money.

   1)Air :See honestly speaking enjoy the benefits of free air till you can enjoy. It is still as priceless as everything shown in the end of mastercard advertisement. So you are not paying anything for it.  

    2)Water: It is also termed as free but it depends on the source. So for a moment it is also a free.

   3)Food: hmmmm leave it... It’s better to be part of team Anna. One) you will get fame. two )you can enjoy langars there.

   4)Family planning: see be honest to yourself and limit your family to as small as possible. Don’t depend on condoms provided by government hospitals. I mean in Rs 28 at least you can’t expect to purchase manforce condoms. So here celibacy is a key to success for you. 

   5)Travelling: see whatever planning commission has planned for you but Indian government has already planned one thing for you and that thing is “Screw you, we will keep on increasing price of petroleum products”. So basically It will be beneficial for you if you walk as much possible. And of course you can’t purchase cycle in that 28Rs.

Well I wanted to write more but ofcourse today I have planned to do something in my project. Did I just read word plan in my previous sentence. My project is doomed now. :(

UP ka mahayudh, satta SP k pass

Finally the overhyped UP election is over and results are out. As predicted Congress and BJP will be in legislative assembly just to show their presence because they didn’t get enough mandate to form a government and state is back in hand of SP ( Samajwadi party). To be honest UP has become Tamil Nadu of north where people are giving government either to SP or to BSP. It is too early to comment on How SP is going to rule this time because in the past party didn’t do anything in state.

UP plays a vital role in central government, of course it is the only state which has given maximum number of Prime Ministers to India. With maximum number of legislative seats and parliamentary seats, UP decides the fate of government ruling in centre.

Well all said and all done, after seeing today’s verdict it is clear that now SP is going to rule the UP. To be honest I am not expecting much to happen in coming 5 years because being a native of UP, I have seen their past governments. All SP had done in past is only limited to give license to goons to do whatever in state.

Well an optimistic in me then told me “OK lets calculate what positive things will happen in state, if SP rules it for coming 5 years”. These all are my own perception after seeing their past performance.

1) as usual students will be allowed to cheat in board exams, full on business opportunity to all UP govt teachers ( Mulayam singh yadav was a teacher)
2) IF they keep their own promise, so it means computer and english education will be disturbed in state ( by the way they are also giving laptop to students, so yo dude start downloading games)
3) all the Gundas will be busy in fighting with each other, hence you people will be safe for sometime.
4) the people from other part of UP will not complain that only Noida is developing, because now development at Noida will also be stopped.
5) and those who have visited to those elephant parks, just be ready to ride cycle there instead of elephants :D

6) The name of my own city Ghaziabad could be names “Bhabhi Durga devi” as promised earlier by SP. But I highly doubt it after seeing their muslim votebank politics, remember Ghaziabad is named after  Ghazi-ud-din.

7) The state will not be divided to 3 parts, as promised by BSP because if it ever happens BSP will start taking credits of this. So for some more years I can proudly say Banaras and other such important cities are part of my state.

8) No more elephants will be installed in parks. Seriously whenever I drive from sector 18, Noida to expresshighway, I am actually fed up of seeing those elephants and so called statues of “Dalit” leaders. Ok agree B R Ambedkar had done really something for the benefits of Dalits but why statues of Kashiram and Mayawati are there.

9) No more people will be divided on the name of caste, instead they will be now divided on the name of religion. :D

10) It is going to be big relief for all IPS and IAS officers. Obviously they were working in a threat of getting transferred after every 6-7 months gave them bad dreams.

11) It is seriously interesting point, both Mulayam Singh and Mayawati were teacher at some point of their life but still education condition of UP is poor. I hope Mulayam’s son Akhilesh who has done masters from some Australian University and bachelors in engineering will ponder in this field.

12) Tourism is one industry of UP which is badly affected by all politics, it is time to do something in this field.

To be honest I might sound sheer devil’s advocate but still I think BSP was far better than SP. Let see how my state is going to see this change in coming 5 years.

P.S. for Rahul Gandhi hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hohohohohohohohho hihihihihihihihi... nothing just wanted to clear my lungs by a good laugh. What did you think? You will come to the state, count some bones in the heap of ashes, would tell UP youth that they are beggars in Maharashtra, would eat at Dalit’s home without paying any penny, and various other nautanki and UP people would forgive you and come out in crowd to vote for you. Then let me tell you one thing _!_ take this... If a stupid leader like you couldn’t make your candidate win at your own constituency then it is impossible for you to win remaining state.